They say spend money on a good wedding photographer. We're sure glad we did.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
In need of some Light-Heartedness...
Last weekend I had some of my friends over at our place for wedding gifts. I told them rather than having to cart pressies up the mountain only to have to cart them back down again, I would organised a gift weekend after the wedding. Unfortunately Rod was still enroute to Ho Chi Min City from Phnom Penh a the time so he wasn't there but he kept texting me his progress for the day which was comforting.
Rod sms - "boarded bus to hcmc. latest movies on bus, Charlie Chaplin" ( I wanted to text back: - original or the one with Robert Downey Jr.?)
We got 2 wild native orchids, a funny designer pasta scooper and pizza cutter and a wall clock but the gift I was most looking forward too was an electric kettle. A dear friend who always pops over for tea couldn't put up with my old broken electric kettle anymore. Even brand new out of the box, the hold down button on the kettle just wouldn't stay on boil so for two years I had the ingenius method of using a really tight elastic band to hold down the switch which worked a treat but of course you had to manually release it when the kettle was boiling. It was quite inconvenient but the kettle was always a conversation peice at parties. So when she told me she wanted to get me a new working kettle, there was no persuading her otherwise even though I had grown attached to my broken one. I told her I liked the look of the new Sunbeam ceramic kettle. She promptly went and bought me one and even called me from the store while she was paying for it. So you can imagine my surprise while I'm unwrapping her present. Surprise!!!...no surprises. She even bought the right colour.
But the true test is wheter it works? We set off boiling water immediately. The button holds downs (phew!) and then what seemed like an eternity watching water boil, the switch finally switches off automatically and you should have heard the cheers and Hurrahs!! going off in the house..all because an electric kettle worked. What a triumph! What joy!!! and as for the old kettle? I thought it would be symbolic if all my friends formed a guard of honour from the kitchen down the hallway with the last one holding the door open while I ran with my old broken kettle, arms rotating like a discus thrower (the theme from 'Chariots of Fire' playing ) and hurled that old broken peice of crap out the door, accoss the road and probably straight into the window of my neighbours. Like the saying goes ' People in houses shouldn't throw broken kettles....hmmmm, okay, I made that one up but its got a nice ring to it. At the very least I thought, we should have a ceremonial burning of the elastic band.
Rod sms - reached hcmc
Ivy sms - everybody says "Yay!"
Rod sms - "boarded bus to hcmc. latest movies on bus, Charlie Chaplin" ( I wanted to text back: - original or the one with Robert Downey Jr.?)
We got 2 wild native orchids, a funny designer pasta scooper and pizza cutter and a wall clock but the gift I was most looking forward too was an electric kettle. A dear friend who always pops over for tea couldn't put up with my old broken electric kettle anymore. Even brand new out of the box, the hold down button on the kettle just wouldn't stay on boil so for two years I had the ingenius method of using a really tight elastic band to hold down the switch which worked a treat but of course you had to manually release it when the kettle was boiling. It was quite inconvenient but the kettle was always a conversation peice at parties. So when she told me she wanted to get me a new working kettle, there was no persuading her otherwise even though I had grown attached to my broken one. I told her I liked the look of the new Sunbeam ceramic kettle. She promptly went and bought me one and even called me from the store while she was paying for it. So you can imagine my surprise while I'm unwrapping her present. Surprise!!!...no surprises. She even bought the right colour.
But the true test is wheter it works? We set off boiling water immediately. The button holds downs (phew!) and then what seemed like an eternity watching water boil, the switch finally switches off automatically and you should have heard the cheers and Hurrahs!! going off in the house..all because an electric kettle worked. What a triumph! What joy!!! and as for the old kettle? I thought it would be symbolic if all my friends formed a guard of honour from the kitchen down the hallway with the last one holding the door open while I ran with my old broken kettle, arms rotating like a discus thrower (the theme from 'Chariots of Fire' playing ) and hurled that old broken peice of crap out the door, accoss the road and probably straight into the window of my neighbours. Like the saying goes ' People in houses shouldn't throw broken kettles....hmmmm, okay, I made that one up but its got a nice ring to it. At the very least I thought, we should have a ceremonial burning of the elastic band.
Rod sms - reached hcmc
Ivy sms - everybody says "Yay!"
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
You Stupid, Stupid Girl!
For the last week since Rod got stranded in Bangkok and then the horrible news about the attacks in Mumbai, I've been having the most morbid thoughts. Everytime the phone rang, I would seize up in fear that the person on the other line was going to be some officail and I would hear the dreaded words:-
"Maam I'm afraid to tell you that your husband is dead"
and then I wouldn't stop screaming..... but it wasn't my husband that died, it was Paulette's and I can see Paulette screaming.
I've been projecting Paulette's grief as if it were my own because I imagined the worst for myself before I heard the news and how I would react if I lost Rod suddenly. How I'd stare numbly at the door thinking he'd walk in any moment like nothing happened. I imagine identifying his cold lifeless body and thinking that's not my husband! He was warm and alive and smiling at me just yesterday! How I couldn't bear to be in our house with all his things lying around just waiting for him, that half finished book on the night stand, his unopened Christmas presents I bought weeks ago. All his folded shirts in the cupboard, his beloved car in the garage. I'd lie in bed at night and stare at the empty spot next to me and then I'd think about Paulette lying in an empty bed and I start to tear up but I imagine Paulete is crying even harder and I can hear that horrible sorrowful wail of anguish that goes on and on and on....
All week long while Rod was in limbo trying to get across 3 countries in order to meet his business requirements and then fly home safely. We joked over the phone about what a disasterous week we've had. I even thought it was a bad omen, a mistake we got married, even the weather was trying to tell us something, worst wind storm in 10 years w were told. By comparison we've had it easy. We're both so lucky because nothing really bad has happened yet and then I had an even more terrible thought. I thought about the odds that two guys working in the same company couldn't die in the same week. Things don't work like that. Like two major plane crashes on the same day or lighting striking twice in the same place and that Paul died so that Rod could live. What a terrible selfish person I am.
I've been dreading to get our wedding photos back because I think we will see lots of pictures of Paul. We had intended to include a picture of us with our guest along with a thank you note. I don't know if seeing a picture of her late husband (possibly even the last picture of him alive) would upset Paulette, I know I would get emotional. Do we wait to send her any pictures? (or any for that matter) How long? Does it get any easier with time? I suspect not. Again I feel silly for thinking such thoughts.
This morning Rod's plane landed safely in Sydney. I left the house emaculate this morning before leaving for work and even laid out a box of chocolates as a welcome home present. I'm breathing easier but I don't want to forget that your husband doesn't have to be in a foreign country to die, he could just as easily have a heart attack in the back yard. I hope I never become complacent and take whatever time I have with Rod for granted. Life and time is so precious.
Below is Paul's obituary from the Melbourne papers:-
Thursday December 4, 2008, The Age
CONLEY
Paul Raymond
Suddenly passed in Melbourne on Sunday November 30. Dearly loved husband of Paulette and father of Isabelle. Eldest son of Joyce and Bill, brother of Peter, David and Andrew, brother-in-law of Suzanne and Amber, uncle of Grace, Josh and Theo.
Darling Paul - my honey, my dear friend, my anchor. I will see you every day in the face of our beautiful daughter. You will be with us always in our thoughts and our memories. We love you so much and treasure your time as loyal husband and loving fun-filled father. May your lust for life live on through us, and through others that love you. A free spirit you always were. Our hearts brim with love and with loss.
Always yours Paulette and Isabelle.
"Maam I'm afraid to tell you that your husband is dead"
and then I wouldn't stop screaming..... but it wasn't my husband that died, it was Paulette's and I can see Paulette screaming.
I've been projecting Paulette's grief as if it were my own because I imagined the worst for myself before I heard the news and how I would react if I lost Rod suddenly. How I'd stare numbly at the door thinking he'd walk in any moment like nothing happened. I imagine identifying his cold lifeless body and thinking that's not my husband! He was warm and alive and smiling at me just yesterday! How I couldn't bear to be in our house with all his things lying around just waiting for him, that half finished book on the night stand, his unopened Christmas presents I bought weeks ago. All his folded shirts in the cupboard, his beloved car in the garage. I'd lie in bed at night and stare at the empty spot next to me and then I'd think about Paulette lying in an empty bed and I start to tear up but I imagine Paulete is crying even harder and I can hear that horrible sorrowful wail of anguish that goes on and on and on....
All week long while Rod was in limbo trying to get across 3 countries in order to meet his business requirements and then fly home safely. We joked over the phone about what a disasterous week we've had. I even thought it was a bad omen, a mistake we got married, even the weather was trying to tell us something, worst wind storm in 10 years w were told. By comparison we've had it easy. We're both so lucky because nothing really bad has happened yet and then I had an even more terrible thought. I thought about the odds that two guys working in the same company couldn't die in the same week. Things don't work like that. Like two major plane crashes on the same day or lighting striking twice in the same place and that Paul died so that Rod could live. What a terrible selfish person I am.
I've been dreading to get our wedding photos back because I think we will see lots of pictures of Paul. We had intended to include a picture of us with our guest along with a thank you note. I don't know if seeing a picture of her late husband (possibly even the last picture of him alive) would upset Paulette, I know I would get emotional. Do we wait to send her any pictures? (or any for that matter) How long? Does it get any easier with time? I suspect not. Again I feel silly for thinking such thoughts.
This morning Rod's plane landed safely in Sydney. I left the house emaculate this morning before leaving for work and even laid out a box of chocolates as a welcome home present. I'm breathing easier but I don't want to forget that your husband doesn't have to be in a foreign country to die, he could just as easily have a heart attack in the back yard. I hope I never become complacent and take whatever time I have with Rod for granted. Life and time is so precious.
Below is Paul's obituary from the Melbourne papers:-
Thursday December 4, 2008, The Age
CONLEY
Paul Raymond
Suddenly passed in Melbourne on Sunday November 30. Dearly loved husband of Paulette and father of Isabelle. Eldest son of Joyce and Bill, brother of Peter, David and Andrew, brother-in-law of Suzanne and Amber, uncle of Grace, Josh and Theo.
Darling Paul - my honey, my dear friend, my anchor. I will see you every day in the face of our beautiful daughter. You will be with us always in our thoughts and our memories. We love you so much and treasure your time as loyal husband and loving fun-filled father. May your lust for life live on through us, and through others that love you. A free spirit you always were. Our hearts brim with love and with loss.
Always yours Paulette and Isabelle.
Sunday, November 30, 2008
A wedding and a funeral
Paul, a dear friend of Rod's who only just attended our wedding in Sydney last week passed away from a suspected heart attack while riding his bicycle yesterday. He was about Rod's age and looked fit and healthy. Rod is still in Vietnam and he called to tell me the news, he's is quite lost for words. I didn't now Paul very well but I wanted to cry as well. I spent a lot of time talking to his little girl at the wedding and my heart goes out to his poor wife Paulette. We will probably be going down to Melbourne this weekend to attend the funeral.....Its been a shocking week for all of us.
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Wedded Bliss?
We've started married life with a really bad week. First we had really freak weather at the wedding, snow, hail, rain, gale force winds and some sunshine which really put a damper on our plans. We couldn't get married outside and we moved indoors into a room to do the ceremony which was set up quite nicely as a wet weather alternative but it was nowhere near as lovely as our orginal venue. I'm glad I didn't allow my dissapointment to show on the day and I'm surprised how blase' I was at all the disruptions and despite everything that went wrong I quite enjoyed myself.
The next day though, I felt it. Irony, dissapointment, resentment, regret and relief. I thought about how I didn't have time to stop and take in the day. To cherish those little moments. From the moment I woke up it was GO! Go! Go! right till the end. In hindsight I wished I had gotten my priorities right. I had put alot of emphasis on minor trivial things like the flowers and had not found the time for more important things like taking up my dress properly. I kept pulling the bodice of my dress up the whole night and was uncomfortable and afraid one of my boobs would pop out. I wish I had time to relax and breath. I was still wiring buttonholes and hadn't taken a bath yet when my make-up artist turned up early and I hurriedly took a 5 minute shower and didn't even mouisturise my face. When my make-up was gettig done instead of kicking back and enjoying being pampered, I fretted about the things that still needed to be done and then it started hailing. It was probebly at that point that something in me gave up and I knew that nothing was going to be perfect like the way I imagined it. After that nothing fazed me, I was as composed as the Buddha.
What would have made the day easier would have been the help of family. I got no help from my sisters. Both were too self absorbed on the day to see that I was crying out for help. My younger sister who is 24 but behaves like a 16 year old emo brat was still sulking over getting told off that she couldn't play her gameboy at the dinner table of a swanky restaurant we ate at the night before the wedding. My elder sister who had a baby 2 months ago was putting up all sort of excuses that she was busy tending the baby so she couldn't help me but last week she threw together a huge baby bash for 30 of her friends with no problems. My mom on the other hand was wonderful as she tirelessly dethorned all 100+ roses for me the night before (hence I am beating myself up about my priorities). My cousin who I initially didn't want to invite to the wedding was such a little helper and I don't think I could have finished everything without him. Everyone was still lounging around in thier pajamas watching TV and when the photographer arrived, everyone wasn't properly dressed except for me, despite none of them helping me to get ready, they couldn't even dress themselves on time . Only when Rod came and we got into our car, just the two of us that I felt at peace again.
I've tried not to think about the wedding so much and have concrentrated my thoughts on Rod and thigs that really matter to the both of us. We had a lovely morning just us two, taking our time driving back home. By Monday it felt like we didn't have a wedding at all. I can hardly remember the details now. Don't get me wrong, there were great parts about the wedding, and when I feel like talking about the good parts. perhaps when I see the pictures, I can write more favourably of the day. but it was not the best day of my life to be sure.
Then Rod had to fly off on Tuesday for a business trip which would take him away for the rest of the week till the weekend. I knew this was coming before the wedding and we made the best of the two days following the wedding to cherish that freshly married feeling and then he was off on a plane bound for Bangkok. The next morning I read the news that anti goverment protestors had taken control of the airport and that all in-coming and outgoing flights to the capital have been canceled. I'm frantic the whole morning and it isn't till midday I get a msg from Rod saying he landed safely at the Bangkok domestic terminal where they got diverted and had spent 6 hours sitting on the plane on the tarmac while waiting for immigration to sort them out. He was meant to catch another flight to Vietnam for more meetings but latest reports say the airpots have been closed indefinately till futher notice. It looks like he won't be back this weekend. I've been feeling a bit fearful, and a little bit angry as well (at his company, don't know why because they wouldn't have predicted this would happen) I thank god that he didn't go on a business trip to Mumbai and pray that the protest in Bangkok is a peaceful one and that it is just an annoying inconvinience and that he will return safe and sound to me soon.
The next day though, I felt it. Irony, dissapointment, resentment, regret and relief. I thought about how I didn't have time to stop and take in the day. To cherish those little moments. From the moment I woke up it was GO! Go! Go! right till the end. In hindsight I wished I had gotten my priorities right. I had put alot of emphasis on minor trivial things like the flowers and had not found the time for more important things like taking up my dress properly. I kept pulling the bodice of my dress up the whole night and was uncomfortable and afraid one of my boobs would pop out. I wish I had time to relax and breath. I was still wiring buttonholes and hadn't taken a bath yet when my make-up artist turned up early and I hurriedly took a 5 minute shower and didn't even mouisturise my face. When my make-up was gettig done instead of kicking back and enjoying being pampered, I fretted about the things that still needed to be done and then it started hailing. It was probebly at that point that something in me gave up and I knew that nothing was going to be perfect like the way I imagined it. After that nothing fazed me, I was as composed as the Buddha.
What would have made the day easier would have been the help of family. I got no help from my sisters. Both were too self absorbed on the day to see that I was crying out for help. My younger sister who is 24 but behaves like a 16 year old emo brat was still sulking over getting told off that she couldn't play her gameboy at the dinner table of a swanky restaurant we ate at the night before the wedding. My elder sister who had a baby 2 months ago was putting up all sort of excuses that she was busy tending the baby so she couldn't help me but last week she threw together a huge baby bash for 30 of her friends with no problems. My mom on the other hand was wonderful as she tirelessly dethorned all 100+ roses for me the night before (hence I am beating myself up about my priorities). My cousin who I initially didn't want to invite to the wedding was such a little helper and I don't think I could have finished everything without him. Everyone was still lounging around in thier pajamas watching TV and when the photographer arrived, everyone wasn't properly dressed except for me, despite none of them helping me to get ready, they couldn't even dress themselves on time . Only when Rod came and we got into our car, just the two of us that I felt at peace again.
I've tried not to think about the wedding so much and have concrentrated my thoughts on Rod and thigs that really matter to the both of us. We had a lovely morning just us two, taking our time driving back home. By Monday it felt like we didn't have a wedding at all. I can hardly remember the details now. Don't get me wrong, there were great parts about the wedding, and when I feel like talking about the good parts. perhaps when I see the pictures, I can write more favourably of the day. but it was not the best day of my life to be sure.
Then Rod had to fly off on Tuesday for a business trip which would take him away for the rest of the week till the weekend. I knew this was coming before the wedding and we made the best of the two days following the wedding to cherish that freshly married feeling and then he was off on a plane bound for Bangkok. The next morning I read the news that anti goverment protestors had taken control of the airport and that all in-coming and outgoing flights to the capital have been canceled. I'm frantic the whole morning and it isn't till midday I get a msg from Rod saying he landed safely at the Bangkok domestic terminal where they got diverted and had spent 6 hours sitting on the plane on the tarmac while waiting for immigration to sort them out. He was meant to catch another flight to Vietnam for more meetings but latest reports say the airpots have been closed indefinately till futher notice. It looks like he won't be back this weekend. I've been feeling a bit fearful, and a little bit angry as well (at his company, don't know why because they wouldn't have predicted this would happen) I thank god that he didn't go on a business trip to Mumbai and pray that the protest in Bangkok is a peaceful one and that it is just an annoying inconvinience and that he will return safe and sound to me soon.
Monday, November 24, 2008
Before & After
Pictures of the flowers I prepared for the wedding, Rod and I went to the Flemington Flower Market at 5.30am and my dad drove the lot up to the cabin we were staying the night before the wedding. My mom and I stayed up till 1am the night before arranging half the flowers and I worke up at 6am to finish the rest and also my bouquet the morning of the wedding. I loved my bouquet. It had 3 large pink/cream roses in the centre encircled by peony roses in shades of white, soft pink and deep pink with feathers. The reception flowers were David Austin roses in red, apricot and pink with lisianthus, sweet pea, hydrangea and statice.
The morning after, we had a stroll around the garden of the B&B we were staying at and I look a little worse for wear but you can see the relief on my face that its all over and later we are lounging back home again, with our cats. our certificate of marraige is on display on the sideboard.
Still too tired to write about the wedding...perhaps when I get my pictures back . Its weird and perhaps I shouldn't be feeling like this. It definately wasn't the greatest day of my life. I liked the morning after much better. I kept admiring my wedding ring, called Rod, 'Hubby' plenty of times. I suppose it was the stress of the day and not liking to be the centre of attention..plus there was the very bad weather that spoilt a few things...sigh.......
The sheer bulk I bought at the markets because I didn't know what I was doing
My absolutely gorgeous DIY wedding bouquet.
Bunches and bunches of reception flowers
More ceremony flowers
After the deed is done. Looking relieved and relaxed with my new husband. Rod wearing his wedding hat
Relaxing with the lads
The morning after, we had a stroll around the garden of the B&B we were staying at and I look a little worse for wear but you can see the relief on my face that its all over and later we are lounging back home again, with our cats. our certificate of marraige is on display on the sideboard.
Still too tired to write about the wedding...perhaps when I get my pictures back . Its weird and perhaps I shouldn't be feeling like this. It definately wasn't the greatest day of my life. I liked the morning after much better. I kept admiring my wedding ring, called Rod, 'Hubby' plenty of times. I suppose it was the stress of the day and not liking to be the centre of attention..plus there was the very bad weather that spoilt a few things...sigh.......
The sheer bulk I bought at the markets because I didn't know what I was doing
My absolutely gorgeous DIY wedding bouquet.
Bunches and bunches of reception flowers
More ceremony flowers
After the deed is done. Looking relieved and relaxed with my new husband. Rod wearing his wedding hat
Relaxing with the lads
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Changing of the old Guard
Love it or hate it, one can't deny that the US elections have been riveting entertainment to all us non voters. Its not just the candidates that are interesting, the whole election system is fascinating and so complexed starting from the primary elections leading up to today. As like with everything American its almost like one big game show.
I haven't said anything before and I prefer to keep my opinions about the matter to myself or risk coming across like some uneducated nut because frankly I don't know a thing about politics. For months I have been bemused by the heated opinions of Sydneysiders, most very pro Obama in an election that doesn't directly concern them at all. As some Americans have said:- they don't care what Australia is thinking because the Australians aren't voting. So when I see someone on the train getting all excited and rallying behind Obama and vilifying McCain/Palin. I want to ask them if they really understand the exact differing policies of the candidates? Are they making an educated choice or are they gunning for Obama because he's way cooler than an old fart like McCain? Are they being swayed by the media propaganda that seems overwhelmingly in Obama's favour or do they just want to see the changing of the old guard for the sake of having something different. As a white American comedian said, he's voting Obama because he wants a black president to misrepresent black men as white presidents have been doing for white men throughout history. And don't get me started on the Palin haters either. How can I take them seriously when all thier negativity is shaped by a spoof they watched on YouTube.
I readily admit that I prefered Obama to win, this I say in the same vein that I would like a particular football team to win because I prefer the colour of thier uniforms. Nothing more. Beyond that, I am highly skeptical that one man be he black or white could change the course of America and indirectly the world in 4 years. The win is symbolic more than anything else.
But at anyrate, Obama had won by a landslide. Good on him I say. Lets hope Obama 08 delivers more than Kevin 07.
nuff said
I haven't said anything before and I prefer to keep my opinions about the matter to myself or risk coming across like some uneducated nut because frankly I don't know a thing about politics. For months I have been bemused by the heated opinions of Sydneysiders, most very pro Obama in an election that doesn't directly concern them at all. As some Americans have said:- they don't care what Australia is thinking because the Australians aren't voting. So when I see someone on the train getting all excited and rallying behind Obama and vilifying McCain/Palin. I want to ask them if they really understand the exact differing policies of the candidates? Are they making an educated choice or are they gunning for Obama because he's way cooler than an old fart like McCain? Are they being swayed by the media propaganda that seems overwhelmingly in Obama's favour or do they just want to see the changing of the old guard for the sake of having something different. As a white American comedian said, he's voting Obama because he wants a black president to misrepresent black men as white presidents have been doing for white men throughout history. And don't get me started on the Palin haters either. How can I take them seriously when all thier negativity is shaped by a spoof they watched on YouTube.
I readily admit that I prefered Obama to win, this I say in the same vein that I would like a particular football team to win because I prefer the colour of thier uniforms. Nothing more. Beyond that, I am highly skeptical that one man be he black or white could change the course of America and indirectly the world in 4 years. The win is symbolic more than anything else.
But at anyrate, Obama had won by a landslide. Good on him I say. Lets hope Obama 08 delivers more than Kevin 07.
nuff said
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