They say spend money on a good wedding photographer. We're sure glad we did.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
In need of some Light-Heartedness...
Last weekend I had some of my friends over at our place for wedding gifts. I told them rather than having to cart pressies up the mountain only to have to cart them back down again, I would organised a gift weekend after the wedding. Unfortunately Rod was still enroute to Ho Chi Min City from Phnom Penh a the time so he wasn't there but he kept texting me his progress for the day which was comforting.
Rod sms - "boarded bus to hcmc. latest movies on bus, Charlie Chaplin" ( I wanted to text back: - original or the one with Robert Downey Jr.?)
We got 2 wild native orchids, a funny designer pasta scooper and pizza cutter and a wall clock but the gift I was most looking forward too was an electric kettle. A dear friend who always pops over for tea couldn't put up with my old broken electric kettle anymore. Even brand new out of the box, the hold down button on the kettle just wouldn't stay on boil so for two years I had the ingenius method of using a really tight elastic band to hold down the switch which worked a treat but of course you had to manually release it when the kettle was boiling. It was quite inconvenient but the kettle was always a conversation peice at parties. So when she told me she wanted to get me a new working kettle, there was no persuading her otherwise even though I had grown attached to my broken one. I told her I liked the look of the new Sunbeam ceramic kettle. She promptly went and bought me one and even called me from the store while she was paying for it. So you can imagine my surprise while I'm unwrapping her present. Surprise!!!...no surprises. She even bought the right colour.
But the true test is wheter it works? We set off boiling water immediately. The button holds downs (phew!) and then what seemed like an eternity watching water boil, the switch finally switches off automatically and you should have heard the cheers and Hurrahs!! going off in the house..all because an electric kettle worked. What a triumph! What joy!!! and as for the old kettle? I thought it would be symbolic if all my friends formed a guard of honour from the kitchen down the hallway with the last one holding the door open while I ran with my old broken kettle, arms rotating like a discus thrower (the theme from 'Chariots of Fire' playing ) and hurled that old broken peice of crap out the door, accoss the road and probably straight into the window of my neighbours. Like the saying goes ' People in houses shouldn't throw broken kettles....hmmmm, okay, I made that one up but its got a nice ring to it. At the very least I thought, we should have a ceremonial burning of the elastic band.
Rod sms - reached hcmc
Ivy sms - everybody says "Yay!"
Rod sms - "boarded bus to hcmc. latest movies on bus, Charlie Chaplin" ( I wanted to text back: - original or the one with Robert Downey Jr.?)
We got 2 wild native orchids, a funny designer pasta scooper and pizza cutter and a wall clock but the gift I was most looking forward too was an electric kettle. A dear friend who always pops over for tea couldn't put up with my old broken electric kettle anymore. Even brand new out of the box, the hold down button on the kettle just wouldn't stay on boil so for two years I had the ingenius method of using a really tight elastic band to hold down the switch which worked a treat but of course you had to manually release it when the kettle was boiling. It was quite inconvenient but the kettle was always a conversation peice at parties. So when she told me she wanted to get me a new working kettle, there was no persuading her otherwise even though I had grown attached to my broken one. I told her I liked the look of the new Sunbeam ceramic kettle. She promptly went and bought me one and even called me from the store while she was paying for it. So you can imagine my surprise while I'm unwrapping her present. Surprise!!!...no surprises. She even bought the right colour.
But the true test is wheter it works? We set off boiling water immediately. The button holds downs (phew!) and then what seemed like an eternity watching water boil, the switch finally switches off automatically and you should have heard the cheers and Hurrahs!! going off in the house..all because an electric kettle worked. What a triumph! What joy!!! and as for the old kettle? I thought it would be symbolic if all my friends formed a guard of honour from the kitchen down the hallway with the last one holding the door open while I ran with my old broken kettle, arms rotating like a discus thrower (the theme from 'Chariots of Fire' playing ) and hurled that old broken peice of crap out the door, accoss the road and probably straight into the window of my neighbours. Like the saying goes ' People in houses shouldn't throw broken kettles....hmmmm, okay, I made that one up but its got a nice ring to it. At the very least I thought, we should have a ceremonial burning of the elastic band.
Rod sms - reached hcmc
Ivy sms - everybody says "Yay!"
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
You Stupid, Stupid Girl!
For the last week since Rod got stranded in Bangkok and then the horrible news about the attacks in Mumbai, I've been having the most morbid thoughts. Everytime the phone rang, I would seize up in fear that the person on the other line was going to be some officail and I would hear the dreaded words:-
"Maam I'm afraid to tell you that your husband is dead"
and then I wouldn't stop screaming..... but it wasn't my husband that died, it was Paulette's and I can see Paulette screaming.
I've been projecting Paulette's grief as if it were my own because I imagined the worst for myself before I heard the news and how I would react if I lost Rod suddenly. How I'd stare numbly at the door thinking he'd walk in any moment like nothing happened. I imagine identifying his cold lifeless body and thinking that's not my husband! He was warm and alive and smiling at me just yesterday! How I couldn't bear to be in our house with all his things lying around just waiting for him, that half finished book on the night stand, his unopened Christmas presents I bought weeks ago. All his folded shirts in the cupboard, his beloved car in the garage. I'd lie in bed at night and stare at the empty spot next to me and then I'd think about Paulette lying in an empty bed and I start to tear up but I imagine Paulete is crying even harder and I can hear that horrible sorrowful wail of anguish that goes on and on and on....
All week long while Rod was in limbo trying to get across 3 countries in order to meet his business requirements and then fly home safely. We joked over the phone about what a disasterous week we've had. I even thought it was a bad omen, a mistake we got married, even the weather was trying to tell us something, worst wind storm in 10 years w were told. By comparison we've had it easy. We're both so lucky because nothing really bad has happened yet and then I had an even more terrible thought. I thought about the odds that two guys working in the same company couldn't die in the same week. Things don't work like that. Like two major plane crashes on the same day or lighting striking twice in the same place and that Paul died so that Rod could live. What a terrible selfish person I am.
I've been dreading to get our wedding photos back because I think we will see lots of pictures of Paul. We had intended to include a picture of us with our guest along with a thank you note. I don't know if seeing a picture of her late husband (possibly even the last picture of him alive) would upset Paulette, I know I would get emotional. Do we wait to send her any pictures? (or any for that matter) How long? Does it get any easier with time? I suspect not. Again I feel silly for thinking such thoughts.
This morning Rod's plane landed safely in Sydney. I left the house emaculate this morning before leaving for work and even laid out a box of chocolates as a welcome home present. I'm breathing easier but I don't want to forget that your husband doesn't have to be in a foreign country to die, he could just as easily have a heart attack in the back yard. I hope I never become complacent and take whatever time I have with Rod for granted. Life and time is so precious.
Below is Paul's obituary from the Melbourne papers:-
Thursday December 4, 2008, The Age
CONLEY
Paul Raymond
Suddenly passed in Melbourne on Sunday November 30. Dearly loved husband of Paulette and father of Isabelle. Eldest son of Joyce and Bill, brother of Peter, David and Andrew, brother-in-law of Suzanne and Amber, uncle of Grace, Josh and Theo.
Darling Paul - my honey, my dear friend, my anchor. I will see you every day in the face of our beautiful daughter. You will be with us always in our thoughts and our memories. We love you so much and treasure your time as loyal husband and loving fun-filled father. May your lust for life live on through us, and through others that love you. A free spirit you always were. Our hearts brim with love and with loss.
Always yours Paulette and Isabelle.
"Maam I'm afraid to tell you that your husband is dead"
and then I wouldn't stop screaming..... but it wasn't my husband that died, it was Paulette's and I can see Paulette screaming.
I've been projecting Paulette's grief as if it were my own because I imagined the worst for myself before I heard the news and how I would react if I lost Rod suddenly. How I'd stare numbly at the door thinking he'd walk in any moment like nothing happened. I imagine identifying his cold lifeless body and thinking that's not my husband! He was warm and alive and smiling at me just yesterday! How I couldn't bear to be in our house with all his things lying around just waiting for him, that half finished book on the night stand, his unopened Christmas presents I bought weeks ago. All his folded shirts in the cupboard, his beloved car in the garage. I'd lie in bed at night and stare at the empty spot next to me and then I'd think about Paulette lying in an empty bed and I start to tear up but I imagine Paulete is crying even harder and I can hear that horrible sorrowful wail of anguish that goes on and on and on....
All week long while Rod was in limbo trying to get across 3 countries in order to meet his business requirements and then fly home safely. We joked over the phone about what a disasterous week we've had. I even thought it was a bad omen, a mistake we got married, even the weather was trying to tell us something, worst wind storm in 10 years w were told. By comparison we've had it easy. We're both so lucky because nothing really bad has happened yet and then I had an even more terrible thought. I thought about the odds that two guys working in the same company couldn't die in the same week. Things don't work like that. Like two major plane crashes on the same day or lighting striking twice in the same place and that Paul died so that Rod could live. What a terrible selfish person I am.
I've been dreading to get our wedding photos back because I think we will see lots of pictures of Paul. We had intended to include a picture of us with our guest along with a thank you note. I don't know if seeing a picture of her late husband (possibly even the last picture of him alive) would upset Paulette, I know I would get emotional. Do we wait to send her any pictures? (or any for that matter) How long? Does it get any easier with time? I suspect not. Again I feel silly for thinking such thoughts.
This morning Rod's plane landed safely in Sydney. I left the house emaculate this morning before leaving for work and even laid out a box of chocolates as a welcome home present. I'm breathing easier but I don't want to forget that your husband doesn't have to be in a foreign country to die, he could just as easily have a heart attack in the back yard. I hope I never become complacent and take whatever time I have with Rod for granted. Life and time is so precious.
Below is Paul's obituary from the Melbourne papers:-
Thursday December 4, 2008, The Age
CONLEY
Paul Raymond
Suddenly passed in Melbourne on Sunday November 30. Dearly loved husband of Paulette and father of Isabelle. Eldest son of Joyce and Bill, brother of Peter, David and Andrew, brother-in-law of Suzanne and Amber, uncle of Grace, Josh and Theo.
Darling Paul - my honey, my dear friend, my anchor. I will see you every day in the face of our beautiful daughter. You will be with us always in our thoughts and our memories. We love you so much and treasure your time as loyal husband and loving fun-filled father. May your lust for life live on through us, and through others that love you. A free spirit you always were. Our hearts brim with love and with loss.
Always yours Paulette and Isabelle.
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